I finished Ironheart and immediately thought, “Wow, Marvel really said ‘What if Spy Kids had trauma, nanotech, and zero chill?’” The tone, the pacing, the writing, it all felt like a kiddie show that got left in the microwave until it mutated. And look, I want to root for Riri. A once-in-a-generation genius from Chicago building her own Iron Man suit? Should be a layup. Instead, it felt like she was playing life on hard mode with a controller that only has the “make it worse” button.

Story / Writing – Nickelodeon Spy Drama

From frame one, this show had no idea what it wanted to be. Teen superhero origin? Street-level crime saga? Tech vs magic face-off? Girlboss in STEM? It tried to do all of them and ended up doing barely any of them. Riri is introduced as the next-gen Tony Stark, but somehow makes decisions like she’s auditioning for Worst Case Scenario: The Series. Genuinely, flipping a coin before every scene would’ve improved her odds. And Mephisto finally shows up, only to lurk around like the world’s most overqualifiedl bully organizing middle school beefs.

Acting – Trying Too Hard

Credit where it’s due. N.A.T.A.L.I.E.and the kid with the cart held it down. But Riri? Felt like someone in their 30s method acting as a rebellious freshman who just discovered sarcasm and vibranium. And the crime crew? Literal NPC energy. Not intimidating. Not memorable. Just vibes and vague threats. Like, they really tried to sell that the “handpicked muscle” got dropped by a suitless Riri in a White Castle and had to resort to shooting her? Be serious. They existed purely to move the plot like leftover chess pieces nobody wanted to pick up.

Originality – Saved by Sorcery

I was ready to fail this thing entirely on originality. Those first few episodes were dangerously close to white noise with a Marvel logo slapped on top. But then something wild happened. Witchcraft. Suit magic. Literal “powering the Iron Man suit with spells” magic. Out of nowhere. And it worked. Somehow the show went from science-fair-meets-street-fight to “tech vs mysticism” and suddenly, it clicked. If the MCU leaned into more weird combos like this, maybe we’d stop zoning out halfway through. Shame it took four episodes and a minor existential crisis to get there.

Vibes – Front-Loaded Struggle

The suit looked nice. The magic-tech hybrid idea was cool. But pacing? Woof. This show moved like it was trying to lose your attention. I had to force myself through the first few episodes like it was homework. Thankfully, Marvel dropped it in two batches of three episodes, because if this had come out weekly, there’s a very real chance I would’ve abandoned ship halfway before the magic powered suit. Structurally, it needed help. The real meat of the story doesn’t even hit until halfway through, and by then you’re just hoping it doesn’t collapse under its own lore.

Impact – MCU Footnote Energy

This show kinda felt disconnected from the rest of the MCU, and not in a cool WandaVision kind of way. Just… forgotten. The villains had no presence. The baddies weren't really that bad, the genius good guy wasn't really that “smart”. And like..Mephisto..dude..what are you doing with a small fry like Parker? He's so weak in the show he's not even worth your entertainment. His entire plotline feels like a setup for another show or movie, but it’s not clear who asked for that. And the ending? Somehow he managed to tee up a victim #2 even though she had courtside seats to Parker’s entire arc and went through to say..yea..I’m down for That..*see above picking every wrong choice lol. Honestly, if I want to watch someone make wrong decisions on a daily basis...I’ll just look in the mirror thank you very much lol.